Categories
Wedding Planning

How to plan a picture-perfect elopement or micro-wedding

THE BENEFITS OF A SMALL, INTIMATE WEDDING

While the COVID-19 pandemic has forced many couples to cancel their spring and summer 2020 weddings, many couples have forged ahead with small, intimate affairs with just the officiant, close family, and their bridal party present.

After all, pandemic or not, what’s most important is that you get to marry the love of your life and have the rest of your lives to throw a lavish party.

But even after this pandemic passes, the typical way of life will be forever changed. Making small, intimate weddings lot more appealing and popular than they once were.

With that being said, we’ll outline some of the benefits of a smaller wedding and provide ideas for planning a beautiful and special celebration with a lower guest count.

WHAT IS A MICRO-WEDDING VERSUS AN ELOPEMENT?

Two words you’ve probably been hearing a lot of lately are micro-weddings and elopements. Now, you might be wondering, what’s the difference between the two? While similar, micro weddings and elopements differ quite a bit from one another.

ELOPEMENTS

While elopements are most often associated with courthouse ceremonies or spur of the moment Las Vegas weddings officiated by an Elvis impersonator, the true definition of an elopement is where a couple gets married (sometimes in secret) without any guests present. The only people typically present at an elopement are the couple, their officiant, and the witnesses.

In recent years, destination elopements have become incredibly popular, with many couples whisking themselves off to stunning international destinations like Italy, Ireland, or the Caribbean for a combined wedding and honeymoon.

MICRO-WEDDING

A micro-wedding is, as the name suggests, a smaller-scale wedding. Unlike elopements, micro-weddings do have guests invited to a ceremony and reception, but the guest count is typically limited to 20 or less. The ceremony and reception are often more casual and relaxed as well.

THE BENEFITS OF A SMALLER WEDDING + GUEST LIST

COST

Perhaps the most attractive part of a smaller wedding is the reduced cost. It’s no secret that weddings can get quite expensive, especially when you have a large guest list. And while there’s nothing wrong with going all out on a lavish party to celebrate one of life’s most momentous occasions, it’s always nice to save a bit of money as well, if you can.

LESS STRESS

While wedding planning can get very stressful, with a smaller wedding, there are fewer moving pieces you need to take into consideration, making it a more enjoyable experience.

MORE ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH GUESTS

Another downside to having a large guest list is that it can be hard to find the time during your reception to interact with everyone. With a smaller guest count, you can spend more time enjoying your reception and truly enjoying the company of your closest friends and family.

MORE FREEDOM AND CREATIVITY

While it’s only natural to want everyone you know and love to be at your wedding, sometimes, we let certain individuals’ opinions sway us in a different direction rather than following our hearts.

With fewer guests, you don’t have to worry as much about the opinions of others and can focus on creating your dream wedding and get creative when it comes to venue, décor, your dress, and even food.

IDEAS FOR A PICTURE-PERFECT ELOPEMENT/MICRO-WEDDING

MAKE IT A DESTINATION WEDDING

Whether you go with a micro-wedding or elopement, a small guest list helps free up your budget, making a destination more affordable.

Not only will you get married in paradise, but you get your wedding and honeymoon all in one. How perfect is that?

CREATE A BEAUTIFUL SETTING

Who said elopements and micro-weddings have to be boring? When planning a smaller wedding, you have the freedom (and budget) to get creative with your décor and create a truly magical backdrop for your vows and reception. From lots and lots of flowers to antique furniture, creating the perfect backdrop will ensure that you don’t feel you’re missing out on anything by scaling back your wedding.

LOOK AT ALTERNATIVE VENUES

Without a large guest list to limit your choices when it comes to selecting a wedding venue, a micro-wedding or elopement presents a unique opportunity to get creative and think more non-traditional when picking the perfect spot to get married.

From treehouses to national parks, historic landmarks, or even on top of a mountain, the list goes on.

PLAN YOUR GUEST LIST CAREFULLY

It’s easy to get carried away when determining your guest list. So, it’s important that you be strict with your invites to avoid going over your guest count. Keep it to immediate family and close friends only.

SPLURGE WHERE IT MATTERS

With your budget significantly slashed, you’ll have lots of wiggle room for spending on the big picture items. Make sure that you spend it where it counts – venue, food, dress, and photographer.

BE CREATIVE WITH PHOTOS

Hire an amazing photographer who can help capture the beauty of your venue along with the love you and your future spouse have for one another.

If you’re doing an elopement, scope out cool locations for photos, such as:

  • Parks and gardens
  • Unique landmarks
  • On or in front of a cliff or mountain
  • Outdoor art installations
  • A bridge with a stunning backdrop
  • A forest
  • Historic buildings
  • Buildings with unique architecture
  • Graffiti walls
  • Waterfalls
  • Sand dunes

HAVE ONE LONG TABLE INSTEAD OF SEVERAL SMALL ONES

With fewer guests, there’s no need to keep everyone separated (unless we’re still in a pandemic). For post-COVID-19 micro-weddings, try having one long table to seat everyone. This allows everyone to be seated together and helps your wedding feel more cozy and intimate.

STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF AND MAKE IT EXACTLY HOW YOU WANT

As with any sized wedding, it’s important to stay true to your vision. Plan your wedding exactly how you want, rather than giving in to the expectations of others.

If you are planning a romantic elopement or intimate micro-wedding, remember to have fun with the planning process and get creative. Because, at the end of the day, the most important thing to remember is that you’re getting married. Neither a small guest count nor a pandemic can change that.

Categories
Advice Wedding Planning

10 tips for an out of the ordinary courthouse wedding

LOW-KEY FABULOUS WAYS TO MAKE YOUR BIG DAY STAND OUT

Wedding season hasn’t quite been the same since 2020 reared its ugly head. Whether your lavish wedding was cancelled due to the pandemic or you’re more inclined to organize a low-key affair for the big day, courthouse weddings are seeing a resurgence.

The rigmarole of wedding planning can be overwhelming at best, so there’s no surprise that the simplicity of courthouse weddings are attractive to couples who want to get through the “I dos” and just be married already. After all, isn’t the marriage the most exciting part of it all anyway?

With that said, as quick and simple as courthouse weddings can be, they can sometimes leave you feeling a sense of “was that it?” There are floral arches, breathtaking views, regal aisles, or themed décor (unless an old wooden-clad office lined with ancient books and an inch of dust is your thing).

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to make the event a little more special. There are a number of things you and your partner can do to transform your quaint ceremony into something spectacular.

BENEFITS OF A COURTHOUSE WEDDING

LESS EXPENSIVE (LIKE, WAYYYY LESS)

According to a 2017 survey, the average cost of a Canadian wedding is over 42K, with almost 88 per cent accounting for the ceremony, reception, and other expenses like flowers, entertainment, photography, and stationary.

A courthouse wedding in Canada costs less than $200.

LESS TIME PLANNING

When you cut out major time-consuming elements of wedding planning like searching for the location, booking the venue, searching for backup locations, picking themes, music, seating, programs for the ceremony – you get the picture – you’ll have less stress since the amount of time spent planning a courthouse wedding pales in comparison to a traditional wedding.

We found a study published in 2019 by The Independent, and they determined that the average time it takes to plan a modern wedding is around 528 hours.

LESS STRESS AND PRESSURE

Naturally, when you spend less time and money planning an event, you feel less stress and pressure from deadlines, timelines, choices, and accommodating your needs and the needs of everyone invited.

MORE INTIMATE

You can’t cram in 150 guests into your courthouse wedding, so there’s no need to be shy when working on your invitation list and slashing through names that don’t make the cut. That’s one of the joys of having a courthouse wedding, you can surround yourself with only the people you love most.

WAYS TO MAKE YOUR COURTHOUSE WEDDING MORE SPECIAL

Getting married is special enough as it is, but if you wanted to zhuzh up your courthouse ceremony, check out these ten tips!

GO ALL OUT ON YOUR DRESS

Just because you’re getting married in a courthouse or at city hall doesn’t mean you have to deny yourself the incredible joy of wearing a gorgeous wedding gown perfectly designed for your style and personality.

At the end of the day, the moment is about you and your partner and the love you share, so splurge on what will make you look and feel your absolute best on your last day of singlehood. There’s truly nothing better than getting ready and slipping into your dream gown, taking a twirl, and knowing you’re the most beautiful person in the world at that moment.

Read More: WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOUR DRESS SHOPPING EXPERIENCE DURING A PANDEMIC

PAMPER YOURSELF

Following the theme of doing whatever makes you happy on your wedding day, take a moment for some self-care. Whether that’s getting a facial, a mani-pedi, a 90 min massage, doing hot yoga, meditating, dirt biking, getting your favourite breakfast a greasy spoon, or going on a shopping spree, spend the time before your ceremony to check in with yourself and indulge.

HOST A RECEPTION

You’ve said, “I do,” you’ve signed the papers, and now you’re married. It’s time to celebrate! There’s no need to hold back on your reception. In fact, you have so many great options to commemorate this joyous event.

Throw a bash, host a party, rent a cottage, have an intimate dinner party, make it a little more formal with a venue, or even throw a “surprise, we’re married” style party.

INVITE YOUR FAVOURITES ONLY

Do you remember when MySpace was relevant, and you could pick your top ten besties to have on your wall? Think of your courthouse wedding like that.

There may be some hurt feelings, but the day is about you and your partner, no one else has a vote in how you choose to get married.

Invite your core group – the people who truly know you and want to support your exciting new endeavour. But be sure to call ahead to find out how many people you’re allowed to bring with you. Some courthouses have limits, especially due to the pandemic.

SPLURGE ON FLOWERS

Bring colour, vibrance, and life to the courthouse with a flourishing bouquet adorned with your favourite blooms. Flowers are seasonal and, particularly when they’re from specialty shops, can run a bit of a bill, so call ahead, find out what their selection is and place your order for your wedding day.

BOOK A STYLISH RIDE TO WHISK YOU AWAY

There’s always the tried-and-true limo or UberX, but did you know you can rent luxury vehicles and old-fashioned specialty cars for the day? You can arrive at your ceremony in style and step out of a car even James Bond would envy.

INCORPORATE SOME OF YOUR OWN TRADITIONS

Every family has its own set of traditions, whether they relate to the holidays, seasons, or weddings – there’s usually something you do that is unique to you and your loved ones.

Well, you can also apply these traditions to a courthouse wedding!

Take a moment to think about what is important to you and what rituals, observances, or other unique elements you want to factor into your ceremony.

WRITE YOUR OWN VOWS

You are two very unique people with shared life experiences, so it’s fitting to write your own vows to express your special bond.

HIRE A PHOTOGRAPHER/VIDEOGRAPHER

Just like a traditional wedding, you’ll need someone around you to capture the magic.

And we don’t mean your bestie hosting an Instagram live stream of your nuptials.

Make it a priority to hire a photographer and videographer – oftentimes, they can do both – so you can cherish the day for years to come.

They will fall under your wedding party, so make sure you factor them into your final count for the ceremony.

SELECT A GORGEOUS PHOTO BACKDROP

Whether you’re posing in the park, gathering in the garden, or doing a photo shoot at home, your backdrop will make a world of difference.

Scout for the ideal location for your wedding photos or purchase/rent backdrops to host your own photo shoot. If you’ve hired a photographer, they usually have backdrops, so be sure to ask them ahead of time.

Psst – Don’t forget to have a backup location in case the weather doesn’t go in your favour!

A courthouse wedding may be completely customizable, but these ten tips can elevate your experience and allow you to represent who you are, your unique personalities, and the incredible love you have for each other.

In the end, it’s not about the things or the location. The most important part is that you’re with the love of your life, and you’re about to embark on a magical journey together. Make your memories, share love and laughter, and enjoy the ride!

Categories
Wedding Planning

Wedding Invitations: formatting, etiquette, and everything in between

Now that you know whom you want to attend your wedding, you need to send out the invitations.

To determine the proper etiquette for wedding invitations I once again consulted Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette book.

Today, there are many options for invitations. Print them at a stationery store, order them online, purchase kits to print them yourself or make them yourself completely.

Mail invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding. You should ensure that your invitations are made, assembled, and mailed with this timeframe in mind.

The invitation is the introduction of your wedding to your guest; so the invitations should match the style and formality of your wedding.

If you are having a theme wedding the invitation is a great way to establish the theme with your guests.

INVITATIONS “DOS AND DON’TS”:

  • Do
    • Decide where you want responses and gifts to be sent. This should be used as the return address on the invitations.
    • Check the make sure the right amount of postage. The safest thing to do is bring an assembled invitation to the post office, have it weighed and the correct postage determined.
    • Triple check to ensure that all names and locations are spelled correctly before ordering/printing invitations.
    • Include your guest’s invited guest’s name whenever possible.
    • Handwrite guests’ addresses to have add a personal touch
  • Don’t
    • Include gift or registry information with the invitations. It is considered distasteful. Family and attendants can share this information with the guests.
    • Write “no gifts” or “no children” on the invitation.
    • Put the dress code on ceremony invitation. Write the dress-code on the lower-right-hand corner of the reception invitation/card, if included.
    • Do not include alcohol information. This should not be a deciding factor on whether a guest will attend or not. So don’t include on the invitation.

TRADITIONAL, FORMAL INVITATIONS USE THIRD-PERSON WORDING AND INCLUDING THE FOLLOWING FEATURES:

  • Centered wording on the invitation. Except for the RSVP, which is flush left.
  • List the hosts of the wedding first.
  • No punctuation. Except for the abbreviations of Mr., Mrs., Ms., Jr., or Sr., or phrases requiring separation on the same lines, such as the date.
  • No abbreviations other than for Mr., Mrs., or Ms.
  • Always write out full names and titles.
  • The phrase “request the honour of your presence” is the correct phase when the ceremony is taking place in a house of worship. For all other locations, the phrase “request the pleasure of your company” is the correct phrase.
  • List the bride without her title or last name unless it is different from the hosts’.
  • Use the groom’s full name and title.
  • Spell out the numbers in the date and time (ex. the eleventh of June, three o’clock).
  • Including the year on the invitation is optional. If included, write it out in lower case letters (ex. two thousand seventeen)
  • Half hours are written as half after, not half-past or blank thirty
  • Spell out one-word numbers in addresses (ex. Thirty Main Street). Otherwise use numerals (ex. 256 Main Street).
  • Examples of wording are provided at the end of the blog

RSVPS

An RSVP is added to the invitation to the reception. Or to the invitation for both the ceremony and reception. An RSVP is not added to the invitation to just the ceremony.

Place the RSVP on the bottom left, not centered.  Write them as RSVPR.S.V.P.R.s.v.p., or The favour of a replay is requested.

RESPONSE/REPLY CARDS

A response card should have a place for guests to write their name, and indicate whether they will or will not attend.  It is also a good idea to include the date by which you’d like to receive the response. For invitations sent 8 weeks before the wedding, a response by 4 weeks before the wedding is the norm, while invitations send 6 weeks before the wedding have a normal response date of 3 weeks.

ENVELOPES

Traditional, formal invitations use two envelopes. The outer envelope is addressed using the guest’s full name and address.  The inner envelope is left unsealed and simply has the guest’s name abbreviated to the title and last name.

The inner envelope is completely optional today. Couples who choose it do so because they like the tradition. Or they want to be very specific about who is being invited. This is particularly useful when indicating that an invited guest may bring a plus-one. Or it can indicate if a couple’s children are/aren’t invited since you can include/exclude the children’s name on the inner envelope.

ASSEMBLING THE PACKAGE

  1. Insert the invitation printed side up and folded edge first if it’s not a flat card.
  2. Slip the reply card under the flap of its pre-addressed and stamped envelope so the card is face-up and the addressed side of the envelope is down.
  3. Stack all enclosures (reception or ceremony card, directions or other information, and the reply card with envelope) face-up, in size order, with the largest piece on the bottom.

IF YOU’RE USING AN INNER ENVELOPE:

  1. Place the stack of enclosures, face-up, on top of the invitation. The package is then slid into the inner envelope, which remains unsealed and without the flap tucked-in.
  2. Turn the inner envelope address side up, and place it in the outer envelope so the name of the invitee is visible when the invitation is opened.

IF YOU’RE NOT USING AN INNER ENVELOPE:

  1. Place the stack of enclosures, face-up, on top of the invitation. Slide the entire stack, face-up, into the envelope.
How Many to Order:
  • Married couples or couples living together at the same address receive one invitation.
  • Single guests each receive their own invitation
  • Families with children receive a single invitation. However, teenagers should receive their own invitation. This rule generally replies to teens thirteen and older, but you can set your own limit. Anyone over eighteen should receive his/her own invitation.
  • Plus-ones are included with the invitation to the guest you know
  • If you plan in using a B list (see our blog on “Making Your Guest List”), be sure to have enough invites for these guests as well.
  • Order some extra invitations for keepsakes for yourself, family, and friends. Also order extra envelops in case of mistakes when addressing them.

For more detailed information about wedding invitations check out Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette by Anna and Lizzie Post.

And as always, the above information is provided as a means to aid you in planning your own wedding invitations; these “rules” are simply based on history and tradition. Ultimately, the wedding invitations should be a reflection of the couple and the wedding they want.

Examples

Hosts: Bride’s parents (formal)

Doctor and Mrs. John Peter Doe
Request the honour of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter
Jane Mary
to
Mr. James Mark Smith, Jr.
Saturday, the tenth of June
At half after three o’clock
St. James Anglican Church
Carleton Place, Ontario
and afterward at the reception
Stonefields
1985 Ninth Line

RSVP

Hosts: Bride’s parents (less formal)

John and Jessica Doe
Invite you to share our joy at the marriage of
our daughter
Jane Mary
to
James Smith, Jr.
etc.

Hosts: Bride’s single/widowed parent

Mr. [Mrs.] John Peter Doe
Requests the honour of your presence
At the marriage of his [her] daughter
etc.

Hosts: Bride’s divorced parents

Bride’s mother (and spouse if remarried)
and
Bride’s father (and spouse if remarried)
At the marriage of their daughter
etc.

Hosts: Bride’s parent and stepparent (note the bride’s last name is used if it is different from her step-father’s)

Mr. and Mrs. Mark Green
Request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her [his] daughter
Jane Mary (Doe)
etc.

Hosts: Bride’s parents, but including groom’s parents in invitation

Doctor and Mrs. John Doe
Request the honour of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter
Jane Mary
and
Mr. James Mark Smith, Jr.
Son of
Mr. and Mrs. James Smith, Sr.
etc.

Hosts: Groom’s parents

Mr. and Mrs. James Mark Smith, Sr.
Request the honour of your presence
At the marriage of the
Ms. Jane Mary Doe
to their son
James Mark Smith, Jr.
etc.

Hosts: Both sets of parents (note, the bride’s parents are listed first)

Doctor and Mrs. John Doe
and
Mr. and Mrs. James Smith, Sr.
Request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Jane Mary Doe
and
James Mark Smith, Jr.
etc.

OR

John and Jessica Doe
together with
James and Sarah Smith
Would be honoured to have you share in the joy
of the marriage of their children
Jane
and
James
etc.

The order if one, or both sets of parents are divorced:

Bride’s mother (and spouse if remarried)
Bride’s father (and spouse if remarried)
Groom’s mother (and spouse if remarried)
Groom’s father (and spouse if remarried)

Hosts: The couple

The honour of your presence is request
at the marriage of
Ms. Jane Mary Doe
to
Mr. James Mark Smith, Jr.
etc.

OR

Ms. Jane Mary Doe
and
Mr. James Mark Smith, Jr.
Request the pleasure of your company
etc.

Hosts: Both parents and couple

Together with their parents/families
Jane Doe and James Smith, Jr.
Invite you to join them as they celebrate their marriage
etc.

Categories
Wedding Planning

Tips for planning your wedding guest list

The wedding guest list… what many couples say is one of the most complicated aspects of planning a wedding.

To try to make the process of choosing your guest list a little less stressful I consulted Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette book to bring you some advice from an expert.

Firstly, you and your future spouse need to decide between two options:

a) Plan the type of reception you want and then base you list size on what your budget can accommodate.
This option is for couples who have a specific idea of what they want their reception to look like and entail, and their guest list is then limited to how many people can be accommodated within the budget of their specific reception.

b) Plan your list first, and then the type of reception on what your budget can afford.
For couples who are not as particular about their type of reception, this option allows them to invite the guests they wish to, and then the aspects of the reception are determined by what their budget can accommodate based on the number of guests.

In addition to these options, the size of the venue will also be a factor in determining your guest list. If your venue can only hold 150 people, but you want 200 to attend, you either have to make some cuts to your list, or find a different venue.

Traditionally the bride and groom, and their respective parents, each get to invite half of the total number of guests. However, this is not a set-in-stone rule. Especially if one partner has a large family and the other doesn’t. Couples may split the list however they wish to.

The “Must” Invites

Whether you or your spouse has met them or not, the following are people that should be included in your list:

  • Spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of invited guests
  • The officiant and his/her spouse
  • Parents of the ring bearer and/or flower girl
  • Guests that are invited to a shower are guests that should be invited to the wedding. An exception would be coworkers who give an office shower, or similar such events.

Children, and guests of your guests, are really a personal decision of the couple. While it may be nice to allow a guest to bring someone along for various reasons, ex. they don’t know many other invited guests, your budget and list size might not allow it, and this is perfectly acceptable.

Children

There is no rule which indicates a couple should or should not have children at their wedding. It is a decision that the couple should make together. Some couples want an adult only affair, while others couldn’t imagine not having children at their celebration.

How to Say No to Children

If you decide not to include children at your wedding there are appropriate methods to communicate your decision.

The Invitation: only include the parent(s)’ name on the invitation. It is consider rude to write “adults only” or “no children” on your invitation.

Spread the Word: Have your family and friends verbally spread the word in casual conversations to people that the event will be for adults only.

Crisis Management: If you know not inviting children will upset certain guests, consider including a message in the invitation to these guests explaining your decision, ex. the costs, space limitation, or formality of the event.

If a person refuses to attend because his/her children are not invited, let it go. This is your wedding and you and your future spouse are allowed to make your own decisions on how it should be conducted.  You are not committing a faux pas by excluding children; the guest not honouring your wishes is the one being rude.

If you do wish to include children, but need some limits to control your guest lists two good options are:

a) consider setting an age limit, ex. only children 10 and older; or

b) a little tricky but still an option is to only invite children of very close friends and family, or the wedding party.

Whatever your decision is, stick to it with no exceptions to prevent hurt feelings. People are less likely to take offence if everyone is following the same guidelines with no special treatment for some.

To Have or Not to Have a “B Guest List”

Some people like to plan two guest list, an A and an B. List A are the must have guests that can fit with the size and budget. If some of these guests RSVP with their regrets, people from the B list are then invited to fill in the numbers.

While in theory this may be a good idea, it can create hurt feelings if guests on the B list find out they were not on the A list.

If you do plan on using two list a couple things to keep in mind are:

  • Make sure guests are never made aware that there are two list
  • Make sure the first batch of invites are sent out early enough for responses to arrive so the second batch of invites are not sent out at the last minute

Other people recommend planning for a percentage of rejections (experts estimate 10-20% of guests will respond with their regrets), adding this number of extra guests to your list, and sending out all the invitations at once.

For example, if you planning to invite 150 guests, send invitations to 165-180 guests.
This method prevents hurt feelings of being a second-list guests. However, it can result in a few extra guests attending if the average of 10-20% does not RSVP no. Make sure to talk to the manager at your venue to ensure arrangements can be made should a few extra guests be attending.

Trimming the Guest List

The easiest way to trim a list is to make clear cuts. For example, keep aunts and uncles, but exclude all cousins and second cousins.

Work associates are another area to make some cuts. If you can’t cut all co-workers, consider limiting it to your boss and personal assistants, or just your immediate department.

Parents are entitled to invite some guests, especially if they are contributing to some or all over the wedding costs. However, they do not need to return every invitation they have received. Nor do they need to fulfill any social obligations at your wedding.

If friends or family live far away they may not be able to attend your wedding. A good option is to contact them to see if they are able to attend so you can adjust your list accordingly. A word of caution, do not make assumptions when it comes to distance; always find out from the personal directly if he/she will be able to attend.

One of the most important factors to remember when planning your guest list is to remain calm. Talk the options through with everyone involved in planning the list; stress and arguments will only cause more problems and hurt feelings.

Planning your guest list will likely never be an easy task. However, the above tips should make the process a little easier and less stressful.

For additional wedding etiquette advice, check out Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette by Peggy Post, but remember that each wedding should be personal to the couple; so it doesn’t have to be completely “by the book”.

Pick and choose what works for you to create your dream day.

Categories
Wedding Planning

The history of the wedding cake

The wedding cake is an iconic symbol of weddings.

I decided to do some research to discover the history of the wedding cake, and found sound interesting facts.

  • The dessert dates back to Ancient Rome where a cake was broken over a bride’s head for good fortunate at the end of the ceremony.
  • In Medieval England, small spiced buns were stacked into a tower as high as possible. If the bride and groom were able to kiss over the tower they were to have a lifetime of prosperity. Many believe this is how the traditional French wedding cake, the Croquembouche, was created.
                                                                 Croquembouche
  • Original a “bride’s pie” was cut and served at a wedding by the bride. As the pie was replaced by cake, and grew in size, the groom was required to assist in cutting a serving the cake. This is how the cutting of the cake tradition was created.
  • Fruit cake was the traditional wedding cake since it represented fertility and prosperity, while white icing symbolized virginity and purity.
  • In the past it was common to hand out pieces of wedding cake as favours to the guests. A common superstition was for single girls to sleep with the piece of cake under their pillow, and which ever man she dreamed of she would eventually marry.
  • For decades it has been common for couples to save the top tier of their wedding cake for their first anniversary or first child’s christening.

CAKES & TRADITIONS

When my parents were married in the early 1980s, it was common to save the top tier until their 25th anniversary. Since fruit/Christmas cake was the common cake of the day, it would last in a freezer for this amount of time.
My mother followed this tradition, which included moving the cake across Canada a few times as my father was in the military. The cake went around Ontario, to Alberta, to British Columbia, and back around Ontario again.  On their 25th anniversary my mom took the cake from the freezer, and despite some hard/dry icing, the cake itself was still good and enjoyed.

Today, a wedding cake can be anything a couple wants. Cupcakes, donuts and even cookies have replaced traditional wedding cakes at many weddings.

Wedding Cupcakes by RMC Cake Creations
Donut Wedding Cake
Cookie Wedding Cakes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SLICE OF INFORMATION

To get the scoop (or should I say slice) on what a couple planning their wedding should know about wedding cakes I spoke to the extremely talented Rachael Code of RMC Cake Creations; located just outside of Perth, ON.

  1. What should a couple look for when choosing their baker?

When choosing a baker Rachael suggest couples consider the following qualities besides price of the cake:

  • Details: Is the baker’s work consistent on all elements of the cake (ex. the overall icing as well as the decorations), and amongst other pieces of work?
  • Experience: How much experience making wedding cakes does the baker have, and does he/she have a variety of options to show the couple?
  • Taste: While the cake should look good, it should also taste good.
  • Location: How far is the bakery from the wedding venue? Some bakers charge a delivery and/or set-up fee?
  1. How early should a couple order their wedding cake?

Ideally, a couple should order their wedding cake 6 months in advance. No later than 4 months in advance of the wedding.

Ordering 9-12 months in advance is a good way to secure your date with the baker though. Especially if your wedding date is more popular. For example, when Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday.

  1. How should couples determine the size of cake to purchase?

You should plan on a piece for every guest (including wedding party). This is especially true if it’s to be served as a dessert course, or the only dessert.

However, when other dessert options are available along with the cake, Rachael usually tells couples they can reduce the number of servings by thirty people. Not everyone will eat cake when other options are available.

  1. What is the average cost of a wedding cake?

The average cost of a wedding cake generally ranges from $5 to $12 per servings.
The cost of a wedding for 150 people is $750-$1,800.

  1. Does the time of year of the wedding affect the price of the cake (ie. are cakes more expensive during the busier wedding season of May-October)?

The season of the wedding does not affect the cost of a wedding cake. Much unlike flowers and some other wedding elements.

If the baker offers a “seasonal special” flavour this may affect the price due to the availability of ingredients.
Rachael offers many of her “seasonal special” flavours year round since they have become so popular.

  1. What other factors contribute to the cost of a cake?

Several factors contribute to the cost of a cake, such as:

  • Style/Design: Elements like lace, ruffles, and handmade fondant figures take additional time and material, which will increase the price.
  • Flowers: Having the baker make handmade sugar flowers will cost more than if you provide them with real flowers to place on the cake. (Note: depending on the type of flowers, you may need to do a cost comparison).
  • Size: The more cake, the higher the price.
  • Mediums Used: The type of icing used on the cake’s façade (exterior), and the type filling of the cake contribute to the cost.
  • Location: Some bakers charge a delivery and/or set-up fee in additional to the cost of the cake.
  1. Are there ways to save money on a wedding cake?

Rachael provided several options for couples working with a tight budget to save on their cake.

As mentioned above, the mediums used on the cake will affect the cost. Buttercream is a less expensive option than fondant for the façade of the cake. It is also less expensive than a speciality fruit-filling in the cake.

Choosing a simpler design will also reduce the cost.

Another options is having cupcakes instead of a cake. Some couples order a small cake for the cake-cutting traditional, while other cut one of the cupcakes.

To help with costs on larger weddings, Rachael has made a standard 3-tier cake, and then provided a less expensive slab cake to meet the serving needs.

Alternatively, another cost-saving option ishaving a partially fake cake. One tier of the cake is real, so you can cut it! Then, you have additional cakes that are fake (usually iced Styrofoam), for decor! This allows for the focal point and dramatic effect of a large cake, at a reduced price. You then serve your guests cupcakes or slab cake.

  1. Does an outdoor wedding (where the cake will be outside) affect options for the cake?

Outdoor weddings can affect the vulnerability of a cake due to the temperature. Some icings, such as a cream cheese icing, melts easier in the heat.

Buttercream or fondant icings generally stand-up to the heat. So long as they are not in the direct sunlight, or left outside for an extended period of time.

To be safe, consider storing the cake inside where it is cooler. Or, have it delivered just prior to guest arriving for the reception to reduce the time that it is outside.

  1. What are the current and upcoming trends in wedding cakes?

Colour is the number one factor that changes with seasons and wedding themes/trends. At any given time there are certain colours that are more popular than others.

While cake styles have remained relatively similar over the past few wedding seasons, Rachael has noticed small changes towards more detailed and elegant designs.

Current trends that are continuing into 2017 weddings include:

  • Personalized Cakes: Choosing personalized. cakes. With colour and or/design elements unique to personalities, love story, cultural backgrounds, or wedding theme.
  • Metallic: Each year metallics grow in popularity in a variety of colour.
  • Semi-Naked Cakes: This rustic/visually organic design of an un-iced, or sparsely iced, cake is highly popular for next year. It pairs well with woodland floral designs to create a simple, but still romantic and elegant look.
  • Cake Collaboration: Changing up the traditional wedding cake to include different sized; matching design themes on mini cakes, cupcakes, and cookies, etc. is another popular trend which creates a fun and visually interesting dessert table spread.
  1. What additional advice do you have for a couple choosing their wedding cake?

Rachael recommends going to your baker with ideas in mind. She suggest bringing items such as your wedding invitation, photos of cakes you like, any special logos you wish to include, pictures or names of flowers you are using in your floral arrangements, and colour swatches to help the cake designer create the wedding cake of your dreams.

All this talk about cake has got my sweet teeth (yes, I have more than one) wanting a treat. Too bad blog writing doesn’t require a taste test.

I’d like to send a big thank you to Rachael for answering my questions in preparation for this blog. Find out more about RMC Cake Creations here.

 

Categories
Wedding Planning

Choosing Bridesmaid Dresses

Once you’ve found your wedding gown, the next challenge is choosing your bridesmaid dresses. This task can be just as hard, if not harder, than choosing your own gown. Trying to please all the girls and prevent any arguments can be a daunting task for even the most easy-going bride.

Photo by Brittany Navin Photography

I spoke with some of our expert stylists , and did some research online to provide you with some suggestions to make the experience as easy as possible.

1. Colour

The colour of your girls’ dress is more than likely going to be your wedding colour. When deciding on your wedding colour, try to pick something that will flatter your girls. For example, lots of brides love the pale pink/blush colour, but this can make certain skin tones looked washed out. Instead, choose a more flattering colour for your girls’ dresses and use the pale pink/blush as an accent colour in flowers and/or décor.

2. Style & Fabric

When choose the style of the dress there are many factors to consider.

Choose a dress the complements your dress, but isn’t too similar that your dress no longer stands out.  For example, if you have a solid lace dress, consider a bridesmaid dress with some lace, but not solid lace as well.

Try to find a dress that flatters all your girls. Everyone wants to look and feel good in their dress. A-line skirts and empire waists are generally flattering for all body types. Another option is to choose a colour, fabric, and length, then let each girl choose her own dress so she has something she likes and feels comfortable in. Another option is to choose a dress that can be worn in multiple ways, such the Mori Lee 712 dress. Each girl can wear her dress in a way she chooses, and you still have a cohesive look.

If possible, try to find a dress that your girls can re-wear. There is a wide variety of styles in bridesmaid dresses today, many which can be easily re-worn, with or without alterations. Your girls will appreciate the fact that they won’t be opening their wallets for an item they’ll only be wearing for a few hours one day. Gather & Gown is a great line for re-wearable dresses. A personal favourite is the Bedford dress. It’s a great choice for your girls, and is something they can easily wear again to work or other event.

Choose a fabric that is appropriate for the season. If you’re having an outdoor summer wedding satin is not a great choice since its warm, and your girls will be sweaty and uncomfortable. Instead choose a cooler, lighter fabric such as chiffon. The thicker and warmer nature of satin is a great choice for a fall/winter wedding.

3. Budget

When choosing the dress, be considerate of everyone’s budget and financial situation. While one bridesmaid may not have a problem spending $300 on a dress, another bridesmaid may not be in such a fortunate situation. Consider speaking to each bridesmaid individually to determine their budget, and then choose a budget for the dress that is appropriate.

If you really want the girls to wear a dress that is over their budget, consider paying the difference yourself.

4. Timing/Ordering

Make sure you order your bridesmaid dresses in time. Bridesmaid dresses usually take 3-5 months to arrive at the store after being ordered. You also need to factor in time for alterations.

If you’re ordering dresses by the same designer in the same colour, make sure you order the dresses at the same time. This ensures all the dresses receive the same dye-lot which will prevent minor colour variations between the dresses, creating a cohesive look.

5. Alterations

Make sure you let the girls know how you want their dress to fit so they can have any adjustments made during their alterations.

For example, the hem length. Do you want the dresses to stop at a specific point on each girl (ex. mid-knee cap)? Or, do you want a specific length from the ground so all the dresses stop at the same spot in photos (ex. 30” from the ground, including shoes).

Just like alterations for your wedding gown, remind the girls what they need to do/have when they go for their alterations:

– undergarments they’ll be wearing under the dress on the big day
– the shoes they’ll be wearing if necessary
– to be considerate of any scent sensitivities the seamstress may have, so abstain from wearing perfumes and scented lotions that day

6. Additional Tips

Consider doing a pre-shop for bridesmaid dresses alone, or with just your maid of honour. Pick out a few styles that you like. Then, come back with all your girls and have them help decide from the selections you already made. This can help make the process easier. Since the girls are limited to their choices, it can reduce the potential for arguments amongst the girls.

Remember, while you do have the final say since it is your wedding, you don’t want to be a dictator. Your girls are choosing to participate in your big day, and making a large financial commitment to do so. Becoming a dictator can create hurt feelings, and a dress is not worth the loss of a friendship.

Categories
Wedding Planning

Bridal Traditions: Something old, new, borrowed, blue

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe.” If you’re reading this blog I think it’s safe to assume that you’ve heard this among your bridal traditions before.

While it is by no means mandatory for you to have these items when you are getting married, many brides wish to continue with the tradition.

Bridal traditions can bring a great element to your wedding day. However, finding items, particularly unique ones, can be a challenge. To save you the time and effort I have done the research and compiled some lists with suggestions for you.

Before I present the lists I thought I would give a brief explanation about the poem. It comes from an old English rhyme where the bride is supposed to carry the items for good luck and symbolism.

Old – continuity and connection to the past
New – optimism for the future
Borrowed – borrowed happiness from another
Blue – purity, love, and fidelity
Sixpence (an Old English coin, sometimes replaced by a penny) – good fortune and prosperity

SOMETHING OLD:

  • Dress, veil, garter, jewellery/rosary/pin, hanky, or clutch from a previous generation (mom, grandma, etc.)
  • A family bible for the ceremony
  • Wrap your bouquet, or sew into your dress a piece of material or a button from an old favourite garment of a loved one (ex. tie from grandparent, ribbon from grandmother)
  • Sew in the military/police/fire-fighter badge or name tag from a loved one
  • Wear, carry, or wrap around your bouquet a locket with old pictures
  • Use old broken jewellery to make a new piece such as a brooch for your bouquet or hair comb

SOMETHING NEW:

(pretty much anything you purchase for the wedding can be used for this item, but some suggestions include)

  • Undergarments
  • Gown, shoes, veil/headpiece, jewellery, purse
  • Make-up
  • Perfume (you’ll always be able to associate the scent with your special day)

SOMETHING BORROWED:

  • Gown, veil/headpiece, garter, shoes, jewellery/rosary/pin, hanky, or clutch  from a friend or family member
  • A friend or family member’s bible
  • Wrap bouquet in someone’s tie or scarf
  • Perfume from a friend or family member

SOMETHING BLUE:

  • Lingerie (just make sure it can’t be seen through the dress)
  • Ribbon, word, heart, wedding date, your married name and maybe your spouse’s name sewn into bust or hem of your dress
  • Nail polish
  • Jewellery or charm
  • Garter (or blue accents on garter)
  • Hanky
  • Pair of blue shoes, paint soles of your shoes blue, or tie a blue ribbon to the heel of a shoe
  • Flowers, or wrap bouquet in blue
  • Washable tattoo
  • Writing (messages on bottom of shoe from family and/or bridesmaids), or blue stickers on bottom of shoes
  • Go with a blue dress (or blue tipped dress), under skirt/tulle/hoops, or blue veil/headpiece

If all the items are a charm/pendant you have a few options on how to carry them such as sliding them all onto a pin and pinning it inside your dress or on your bouquet. Or you could thread them onto a chain/ribbon to wear, or wrap around your bouquet as well.

One of my friends got married in the summer of 2014. I was a bridesmaid who lived out of town so I wasn’t able to participate in all the wedding planning/activities, but I requested the job of gathering all the items for the bride for the bridal traditions, including her something old/new/borrowed/blue.

Below is a picture of the items, which I put on a ribbon and tied around the bride’s bouquet.

The heart is a charm from her grandmother (which her mother contributed), something new was a pendant I had made with her wedding date along with her and her husband’s names, something borrowed was a shoe charm I had (we both have a love of shoes), and something blue was a pendant her twin sister made from a piece of blue sea glass.